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Thursday, February 6, 2014

College Player Tells Really Funny Joke about Women's Ultimate

PRACTICE, Wednesday— At practice yesterday afternoon, David told a solid joke about women’s ultimate, drawing raucous laughter from his teammates.  By all reports, it was funny.  Really funny. 

Despite the high concentration of iPhones at the field, no one caught the joke on video; however, several witnesses can confirm that the joke was indeed hilarious.  The joke centered on a few aspects of women’s bodies, particularly in comparison to those of men.  It succeeded in perfectly balancing its levels of condescension and stereotyping, with a tinge of creative analogy that made everyone on the team feel better about not playing NCAA football. 

“Yeah, man, it was great,” said Ryan to reporters after the incident.  “I mean, it was just, like, out of nowhere.  Super funny.  A little harsh, but super funny.” 

Several men’s players were impressed by David’s boldness in telling the joke. 

“Dude, it was kinda’ crazy.  He just dropped it on us, like, no-holds-barred, without even checking over his shoulder to see if all the girls had left yet,” said Eric, with a tone of unbridled admiration. 

“It was really risky,” said Phil, a senior English major on the team.  “You know, usually when you tell a joke about women’s ultimate, you have to play this game where you balance disparagement with an insistence on your own magnanimous tolerance of their inadequacy.  So you don’t come off as a total dick.  But, man, David just went for it like a badass.  What a guy.”  

The long-term effects of comedy are often hard to predict, but in the short term, the joke seems to have done quite a bit for David’s social standing within the team.  By mocking women, specifically women’s ultimate, David has managed to reinforce his own masculinity and athletic prowess—which, of course, is what matters here. 

“I’m pretty stoked that David told it,” said Ryan. “‘Cause, you know, women really are bad at Frisbee, and I had sorta’ forgotten that.  When David reminded us, I suddenly realized how good he looked by comparison.  Now, I totally want to hang out with him a lot more—and keep him on the A team next year, for sure.  Man, I should remember to invite that kid to our beer pong tournament this weekend.” 

Indeed, it seems we are all lucky that David has told that joke.  We are graced by his creativity, his stunning wit, his breathtaking manliness.  He has become yet another soldier in the long war against the idea that women’s ultimate might be worthwhile or its players admirable.  Fight on, friend.  Warrior.  Hero.