AUDL Power Rankings: May 10th

It's Friday, and that means its time for AUDL Power Rankings. 

1. Toronto Rush: Remember that time when you played in a local college tourney and a bunch of high-level club players brought a team just to get drunk and tool on kids for the weekend?  Yeah. 
2. Philadelphia Phoenix: It just won’t…stay…dead!  Philly gets the two-spot nod over Madison mostly because it’s drawing from the same pool as the already-established Spinners and has managed to field a pretty decent team.  That’s impressive. 
3. Madison Radicals: What Madison isn’t telling you is that most of their players are only 12 years old.  They just age faster due to increased free radical exposure.
4. Detroit Mechanix: Expectations were higher, results-wise, for one of only two teams not to have changed names, leagues, or cities since last year.  But hey, they have KP now. 
5. Cincinnati Revolution: Unfortunately, Cincinnati had to suspend star player Nigel OchoOcho for disciplinary reasons after he became an off-the-field distraction.
6. New York Empire: The Empire have a decent record, but their strongest win so far this season has been getting a stadium actually within their city.
7. New Jersey Hammerheads: Zero chance this team cracks the top half of the rankings until a live hammerhead shark is involved in the halftime show.
8. Indianapolis Alleycats: Does anyone else remember that Disney Channel movie, Alley Cats Strike?  Look up the theme song. Worth it.
9. Windy City Wildfire: Putting the heat-themed team next to the cold-themed team has pleasing synergy.  Plus, it could be amusing to see how Brodie and Helton play as the underdogs. 
10. Minnesota Wind Chill: The goal differential is only -4, but with wind chill it feels like -40.  
11. DC Breeze: Ponder the following: in goal diff., they’re trailing the last-place team in the Midwestern Conference by THIRTY-ONE.  Clearly, their one win was due to gerrymandering. 
12. Rochester Dragons: As much as it sucks to rank a team with a name like the Dragons last, it pretty much looks like this year’s version of the Buffalo Hunters is...basically last year’s version the Buffalo Hunters.