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Saturday, May 11, 2013

AUDL Super Power Rankings

Anyone can make AUDL Power Rankings.  Only UltiWhirled brings you AUDL Super Power Rankings.  Each team is assigned a related super-powered character, and the teams are ranked accordingly.

#1—Philadelphia Phoenix
Character:  Phoenix Force
Power(s): Basically everything.
Verdict:  When you have the same name and mascot as the most powerful comic character ever created, there’s really not a contest here.  Blowout win for the boys from Philly.

#2—Rochester Dragons
Character: Shenron
Power(s):  Alter reality, change the course of history, or bring the dead back to life.
Verdict:  Unbelievably powerful. The main reason he doesn’t get Rochester the top spot is because he sort of has a genie-limitation.  You have to go and collect all the Dragonballs to activate him, which is kind of a schlep.

#3—Windy City Wildfire
Character:  Wildfire
Power(s): Flight, super-strength, firing energy blasts.  
Verdict:  Again, you get huge points for having the same name as the actual super hero assigned to your team for the rankings.  He has a pretty nifty story, too.  

#4—Madison Radicals
Character:  Gambit
Power(s):  Charge items with excess energy.  Watch them explode.
Verdict:  Excess freewheeling energy and a who-cares rebel attitude?  What a BAMF.  There's slight concern that the Radicals may not live up to that level of badassery, since once they've bonded to something they may not continue to be so reactive.  More expertise in chemistry is required.

#5—Detroit Mechanix
Character:  Iron Man
Power(s):  Billionaire-genius-playboy-philanthropist.  Oh, with a badass, flying, crime-fighting suit.
Verdict:  He’s pretty much the superhero mechanic when you think about it, since he builds and maintains all his own gear, so I’m willing to let Detroit have this one.

#6—Minnesota Wind Chill
Character:  Iceman
Power(s):  Freezing things, conjuring ice out of thin air.  Making an awesome Mario Kart level wherever he goes.
Verdict:  Being this familiar with the cold has to be an edge in early-season night games.  Ultra bonus points because the guy who played him in the movies also used to play Jake in the Animorphs TV series.

#7—Toronto Rush
Character:  Flash
Power(s):  Super Speed, with a mouth to match.
Verdict:  They're in a rush all the time, just like the superhero they've been assigned.  Speed may make them hard to cover on the field, but the Flash’s ego keeps Toronto from rising up the rankings.

#8—New York Empire
Character:  Emerald Empress
Power(s):  Control over a magical floating gem that blasts energy and grants her flight.  
Verdict:  Interesting concept and pretty powerful character. Matches team colors.   There’s something to be said for having psychic control over a round, flying object, but she still seems a little too dependent on the artifact for most of her cool. 

#9—New Jersey Hammerheads
Character:  Street Sharks
Power(s):  Vigilante street gang of anthropomorphic, crime-fighting, mutant sharks.
Verdict:  They’re freakin’ Street Sharks!  Crappy powers, but they get this spot on cool alone.

#10—DC Breeze
Character:  Wind Dancer
Power(s):  Wind Control, Flight, and Long-Distance Eavesdropping
Verdict:  Really fun character with sweet powers, including one of the most oddly-specific abilities ever.  Unfortunately she loses some points for later developing a Dr. Octopus problem and changing her name to Renascence.  

#11—Cincinnati Revolution
Character:  Shadow Hare
Power(s):  None.  Real Life Super Hero (RLSH).
Verdict:  UltiWhirled was unable to come up with a good revolution-based superhero, but maybe that’s for the best, since now you all get to read about the actual guy who patrols the streets of Cincinnati. 

#12—Indianapolis Alleycats
Character:  Alley-Kat-Abra
Power(s):  Anthropomorphic, flying, telepathic sorcerer-cat.
Verdict:  Some might think of Catwoman, but UltiWhirled really felt that everyone should be made aware of this phenomenal character from DC Comics.  

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