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Friday, May 10, 2013

MLU Power Rankings: May 10th

It's Friday, and that means it's time for MLU Power Rankings.  

  1. Boston Whitecaps: Undefeated so far, and walking with attitude.  The only concern is whether Jeff Graham’s back can hold up over a whole season of carrying the team. 
  2. Portland Stags: The Stags have started off at 0-4, with a dismal point differential, but trusted inside sources have indicated that this is all part of the plan. 
  3. San Francisco Dogfish: A lot of power rankings have the Dogfish ranked first, but that really only matters if you focus on results and roster strength.  They feel more like third.
  4. Seattle Rainmakers: I wonder what it’s like to be a Seattle Rainmaker.  I wonder what it’s like to know that I made the rain.  I’d store it in boxes with little yellow tags on every one.  And you can come and see them when I’m done.  When I’m done.
  5. New York Rumble: They’re off to a rough start, but they play on the damn roof of a building with the New York skyline at sunset as a backdrop.  That’s worth at least few spots in the power rankings. 
  6. Philly Spinners: Sure, they’re winning, but their uniforms are a really silly color.
  7. DC Current: Like Congress, or the city’s traffic, DC’s offense seems like it’s stuck in gridlock.  Alan Kolick, on the other hand, is that jerk who’s riding a mo-ped, weaving in between the lanes of stopped cars. 
  8. Vancouver Nighthawks: This may be more wishful thinking than anything else.  It’s probably best for everyone if the Nighthawks have no shot at making the finals.  Their city doesn’t need another massive riot if they lose. 

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